Magical Love Languages

I have not read any books on love and marriage since Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus (1992) because I thought I had read most of the important books on the topic and besides, I had a great 7-year marriage so far...

Then I chanced upon Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages (1995) - the concepts are not new to me but they are well-explained, practical and most importantly, impactful!

Through his research and experience, Dr Chapman concluded that there are just five basic love languages:
  1. Words of Affirmation
  2. Quality Time
  3. Receiving Gifts
  4. Acts of Service
  5. Physical Touch
And the key to a lasting loving relationship lies in discovering and speaking the primary love language of your spouse! In the Emotional Bank Account (EBA) terminology, speaking the primary love language of a person equates making a huge deposit to one's EBA with him/her.

For example, if your spouse's primary love language is "Quality Time", you can't convince him/her of your love by just giving gifts and doing household chores. Instead, you should spend time doing things with him/her or simply lend a listening ear.

To find out a person's primary love language, use the simple assessment tool here or simply discuss with your loved one what actions (wrt. the love languages) make him/her feel most loved.

Finally, this concept can be easily adapted for any other kind of relationships too, eg. parent-child, sibling-sibling, friendship, etc.

I've since discovered my wife's love language, deepened our love and strengthened our marriage:)

Comments

Sim said…
If you would like to read a more scientific book about love and marriage, I would recommend Intimate Relationships 3rd Edition, by Sharon S. Brehm, et al. The authors of this book pointed out some errs in Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus using data and citations, which is interesting and inspiring. :)
12:05 am
Unknown said…
Great reminders that make a huge difference in the quality of life. I think every single point on this list is important, thanks for sharing.
5:47 pm
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

7 Free, Simple & Effective Tips to Protect Your Computer

Image
  We hear so many scary news of systems being hacked as well as the dreaded ransomware which can block you from assessing your files unless you pay hackers bitcoins .  How then can you protect your computer from malware especially when you have limited IT knowledge and wouldn't want to spend big money too? Fear not as here're 7 free, simple & effective tips which will greatly reduce your risks (from easiest to most difficult to implement): Be very wary of clicking anything Do not click on any online ads as it's real easy to embed ransomware in them Do not click on links in unsolicited emails even though they come from a seemingly legitimate source (sender's email can be easily manipulated to look real) or someone you know (their accounts might have been compromised). When in doubt, do nothing and consult a friend with IT knowledge first; remember, there is never ever any urgency in clicking links. Avoid visiting dubious websites because they can easily install m
Read more

A Spiritual Autopsy

Image
Today is the 100th-day death anniversary of my Dad, Vincent Woon . I'm close to my Dad. In fact, among my siblings (2 brothers and 1 sister), I believe I'm the closest to him, being the youngest as well as having the same Catholic faith with him. I miss him... but the busyness of life (yes even during my 2-week-long holiday!) doesn't give me the luxury of time to reminisce our wonderful times together - perhaps our modern society is moving too fast and we risk losing our humanity and becoming more like unfeeling machines if we don't slow down... This afternoon, our family "visited" my Dad at the columbarium to say a short prayer. It was a short session with little verbal exchanges but it was a nice feeling to be together as a family, remembering someone so close to our hearts. And at 3pm, our close church friends gathered at my Mom's place for a short memorial service. Their presence meant a lot to us and spoke volumes of how my Dad had touched t
Read more

Use Less Plastics Today!

Image
    On 8 June 2021, we celebrate United Nations' World Oceans Day but I'm so sad that we humans are greatly polluting the oceans with plastics that not only kill 100 million marine animals each year but also threaten food safety for humans and contribute to global warming. Here're the little things we can do in our daily lives that will make a big impact: Bring your own recyclable bag for grocery shopping Bring your own tupperware containers to buy meals Stop using straws or bring your own reusable straws When dining out, buy only from stalls that use reusable cutlery  Recycle cans/bottles by bringing them to recycling bins or reverse vending machines Share this article with everyone you know via social media or instant messaging platforms!
Read more